It's Been a While...

I have a post that I really want to make right now, but since I haven't updated since before Thanksgiving, I'll give an update on life first.

First off, my Thanksgiving pass reappeared. Apparently our Company (or our Battalion) is disorganized enough that it assigns people to extra details without bothering to finish going through pass and leave forms for upcoming holidays, and it doesn't really track where those forms are at during the approval process. This leads to passes disappearing (as fa as the Company is concerned) while they're being approved at Battalion, which in turn leads to a lot of distress on the part of the unfortunate brand new lieutenants who don't know any better. A.k.a. me. Hopefully, when the time comes to write an end-of-course memorandum next week discussing the various shortcomings (and good things) about life in DCo, I'll remember to make some sort of fuss about better leave and pass tracking.

That aside, Thanksgiving was okay, as was Christmas. I'm used to living by myself now though, so shared living arrangements really bother me. I also love my family a great deal, and enjoy visiting my extended family in Michigan, but I think I've (finally?) grown up and grown past the need to be with my parents and my family on a regular basis. That's not to say that i don't ever want to visit them all, but I'm happy having my own life now, and truth be told, I can only really handle being around the rest of the family for a limited time. I've read and heard that that's how most adults feel when returning home; whatever, that's the way it feels for me. I don't know that I speak with my dad any more often now that I'm off living my own life (and college did not count), but I talked to him on a fairly regular basis in college anyway. Granted, he generally has to call me, but I've always been that way with everyone in my family (which is a large part of what I'll discuss in my next post). I do talk to my mom a lot more often, and I frequently call her instead of the other way aound, which is a change for me. I also talk to my older brother on a somewhat regular basis, but i'll talk more about that in the next post too.

Christmas itself: my mom flew to Michigan this year, so I got to stay there for the entire break instead of flying out to Colorado on Christmas day; that also meant that I got to visit with my mom's side of the family for a little over a week, which I don't ever get to do (I typically only see them for a day or for lunch if at all). I did not, however, get to see my mom's stepmother, who has always been "my grandmother" in the same way that all of my other grandparents have been "mine." I'm actually a bit upset still over the reasons we didn't see her, since it was an unpleasant bit of drama and I truly would have liked to have seen her, even if she didn't seem particularly interested in seeing any of us (but she felt snubbed for reasons that I won't go into, so I don't think it's entirely her fault - which is why I've pretty much held my tongue to the rest of my family about it, since I know I'll probably get a little bitchy about it if I say anything, and nobody really deserves that).

Anyway, I'm back at Fort Rucker (obviously I suppose), and only have a week and a couple of (extremely easy and short) days away from being finished with BOLC III/JOPD/A Bunch of Stuff That I'll Probably Forget by the Time I Finish with Flight School. Then I start SERE school on 15FEB, and then I'm probably looking at a 1-3 month hold before starting "actual" flight school (which is good, since it gives me time to memorize the parts of the flight manual that I kave to know).

On a more personal note, I'm not sure I still have a boyfriend (if I ever really had one), and if I'm bothered by that fact, it's only because I don't know for sure, and would like "closure" if that's the case. The story of my dating experience:
-He asked me out to dinner after a strange conversation on Halloween. Due to the nature of the situation, I was pretty sure he was not my boyfriend.
-We go out again, at which point I supposed he probably was my boyfriend.
-We went out to eat a handful of other times and made out from time to time.
-We didn't "technically" have sex... depending on your definition of sex, I suppose. But we went far enough along for me to decide that i'm not comfortable with it, in hindsight. I never said anything after the fact, because I was fine with it during the fact (what hormone-induced idiot wouldn't be?), and it hasn;t really come up again since then.
-Although our mutual friends may have known something was going on, we never actually did any "couple-y" things in front of them... and I don't know if that was because he didn't want people knowing he was "with" me or because he thought I didn't want people to know or because it just never really came up. It still bugs me a little, but I didn't say anything so it's my own fault if I've got a problem with it. Especially since I don't know if I do want everyone knowing.
-Then we left for Winter Exodus, and he went to SERE school immediately on return. Cue 3 weeks of no contact, which didn't bother me in the slightest.

He's back now, and I haven't received the texts and calls and unannounced visits (which actually really piss me off...) that I was expecting. He also didn't kiss me or anything when we drove back from Montgomery together after Exodus, or when I drove him home this past Sunday after a mutual friend's son's first birthday party. Maybe he's just waiting until the weekend, or maybe I've given off some kind of signal that we're done, or maybe the three weeks (well, 3 weeks plus Exodus) apart did what I'm too chicken to do (because dating, even if it's not-dating, a friend is pretty damned awkward when you're debating breaking up and you have all the same mutual friends and have to work together for quite a while before being sent into the "real Army"... at which point we'll see each other again frequently anyway, because Aviation is a very small community).

Long story short, I'm a little confused about the whole thing, probably not helped by the fact that I've never dated anyone before (and never really kissed anyone before, or made out with anyone before, or did anything else remotely sexual with before), and I rather wish that I hadn't bothered "dating" (or not-dating, whichever...) the guy after all. Blah.

Apart from that, not much going on personally. I'm getting myself a ferret after I return from SERE, and my older brother is going to drive up from Florida to help me move the ferret in and in general just hang out (and bring me a lot of smoked pulled pork). I'm really looking forward to having a pet :) I want a dog, but I know I won't have the time for one during flight school, and moving with one will be really difficult once I finish. Ferrets aren't as low-maintenance as a fish or something, but they sleep a lot during the day, and don't need the same amount of space that a dog would. I'm also not allergic to them like I am to cats, so they're pretty much the ideal pet for me right now. I know emotion doesn't translate well through digital means, but I am SOOOOO excited to be getting a pet!!

Aaanyway. That's it I guess. Time to post this and then start on the next (somewhat disturning) post :p

OH! My car is FUCKING UP. I almost forgot that! My speedometer swings back and forth - not constantly, but nearly every time I drive now, worse in the cold it seems, and enough that I have no idea how fast I'm going when it happens, unless I have my GPS on. The dealership basically told me "tough shit", since they'll have to take apart the electronics to go through all of the wiring to try and fix it, which I don't have the time (or really the money) for. Especially since the mechanic on post says it's probably an instrument cluster problem, and I should try finding one at a junk yard and replacing it before going through the wiring. I have absolutely no idea where a junkyard is here in Alabama, but maybe I can get my brother to find one in Florida and bring it up after SERE, since he's way more car-savvy than me anyway. Blah again.

The end for real this time.